You know what's the biggest problem of dealing with someone you are hopelessly in love with?
Walk it off.
Not in the literal sense.
I could bull shit you and tell you that.
"Well, if you JUST try harder you can get that wonderful persons attention and start a happy relationship and then live HAPPILY ever AFTER!"
No, case is, your going to have a heart throb for this person for the rest of your life, you are going to have to deal with that heart throb, one painful step at a time.
I did. (Skip this part if your not into the romantic character plot BS)
I probably met the girl that I would have married, I don't say this lightly, marriage is serious game for this guy.
I met her awhile back, 7th grade I believe. Had things gone differently, I would have made it not just a goal, but my mission to marry her.
It would have been something I COULD have done or WOULD have done, but HAD to have done, she was my literal other. Funny as hell, no doubt about it pretty, she was honest, overly honest I might say in everything. Intelligent, freaking ridiculousness status intelligent.
She knew everything about math, something I completely hated, but damn well loved it because it had something to do with her.
And she had these grey-blue eyes, and she wouldn't glance at me, she was brutally up in your face about issues, when she looked at me, she looked right into my soul.
Not even kidding you.
There'd be times where we didn't even have to talk, we'd just look right into each other eyes, she'd somehow manage to make it awkward. She was loud too...not even going to lie.
But that's before shit went down.
(Pay Attention to this part now.)
Now?
Almost a year later?
I still haven't said a word to her.
She doesn't exist. The only artifacts that I have of her is one 20 second that was supposed to be a picture, several pictures, and a contact number.
But all of it is deeply buried, and hard to get to unless I NEED to find it, which periodically I do, because it's the only thing I have left of that person. Every now and then I keep tabs on her, I'll talk to a friend of her's say once every chance I see them, which has been twice this period of almost a year. From what I've gathered, she's not the same person as that one girl in the pictures with her arms wrapped around my neck.
But I need the confirmation.
That it DID happen.
Because pretending like it didn't happen is the worst thing you can do.
Unless you are that type of person that pretends that they didn't make a mistake, only so they can either feel like a better person, or forget about it and have it bitch slap them in the face several more times just for kicks.
So Step One is establishing that it did happen.
But you don't need all the proof in the world.
I deleted our messages, her Facebook (damn we are serious now huh?) and stored our notes.
I made the few things I did have HARD to get to. So that it would tax my attention and patience to get to them.
But periodically, I go back and pretend everything was the same.
That's fine, that's healthy, but you can only do it for a moment through those FEW pictures, notes whatever.
For pictures, don't do ones that make the person look insanely attractive, most of mine are slightly blurred, moving, just bad pictures in general of a good time.
It's harder to forget an attractive person, we are all shallow like that.
Step Two:
Discipline.
I wanted to call her, to get back together, to go BACK to what WE had.
But I didn't.
1. I was butt hurt.
2. I knew it wouldn't further me.
That's going back to making mistakes and trying to learn from them.
Don't make the same mistake twice, because then its a choice, not an option.
I had to force myself to remember why I was in that situation, it wasn't anything I had done, despite the fact that I tried so many times to put it on me.
So then my brain would trigger my empathy emotion for putting someone through shit, so then I'd call them, knowing that I had gone through similar stuff, and try to make up for a mistake I didn't make.
This is the hardest step, so everything about memories hits the trash cans, I kept those pictures/notes because I knew I could one day look at them and aspire something positive to come from it.
It's a great confidence boost going back to the reasons why someone was attracted to you, its a total fail when it prompts you to get back into the "norm" with them when that norm is GONE.
Stop setting yourself up.
Don't set yourself up for a repeat dammit.
You are reading this, and maybe you are in this exact same spot.
You are going back to that person because it was "easy" getting their affection, at one point they willingly gave it to you.
That doesn't exist anymore, you're here stuck with me.
Stuck in this box of text, where I try to justify my contained emotions, and you look for someone with answers, or at least someone who's gone through the same process as you have.
I'm typing at Hussein Bolt speed (don't know who that is? Google it.) I'm trying to tell you that you are a beautiful creation, that you are WORTH something to someone, but that someone isn't that same person that put you in such situation, that situation in which you are relating to me, and possibly nodding your head in agreement.
My words have been flying out like rounds out of a machine gun, I'm trying to create this WHOLE post tailor fit for you, the soul individual that this was made for.
Take a step back, ignore the people that came here because I linked it.
Just me and you. If this doesn't apply to you, sorry I put you through the extra text, this generation doesn't read often so it's a burden I know.
But to the soul individual who this was made for.
I understand.
I'm still hurt, still confused, and I am here to help you, as long as you are here to help me.
Don't scroll past me dammit, I want you to know that you are your own damn person, that you don't have to deal with one idiot, that you don't have to be defined by the actions of the few.
That you can have a second chance, and it doesn't seem like that when you are crying like a bitch, I know it, I've been there.
But this shitty situation WILL get better.
And it's NO use for you to be stuck in it.
I want you to be a better person, yes, I, Nathan, the writer of this.
I want you NEVER to have to go through this again, never be put in this situation.
I want life to go as smoothly as possible for you.
Can you understand that?
I hope you do.
But off of that.
To the general reader.
Step Three:
Find someone else.
You've made the mistake of getting messed up previously, now go find someone else to captivate your attention. But don't get into this step early.
Wait three months minimum before you start looking again, rule of three I call it.
Wait, there's shouldn't be a rush to replace someone that hurt you, with possibly another.
You need time.
Time is what keeps you humble, it keeps you in that state of bitterness, it MAKES you remember what went wrong, and how you should fix it, and avoid it at all costs.
So take your time when moving on.
Slow is accurate.
Accurate is efficient
If it's efficient it works.
And if it works, then it's fast.
That didn't seem like it makes any sense, but you can keep going at the same speed, dealing with the same idiots, or you can shift gear, switch lanes, and hit the passing lane.
That's where we go into Step Four.
Enjoy.
That's all I have to say for now, hopefully I haven't confused you, the reader to much.
If you found this useful, you don't have to tell me, I don't need a thanks.
I just need you not to get involved with the same people/activities that bring you back to square one.
You do that for me, and we will call it even.
The process of this is hard, but I'm here to keep ranting, and hopefully you can make a connection, and know that someone else in this world is here going through the same thing, that's all I need to know to pull through it. If someone else can handle it, why can't I?
Just Sayin'.
Walk it off.
Not in the literal sense.
I could bull shit you and tell you that.
"Well, if you JUST try harder you can get that wonderful persons attention and start a happy relationship and then live HAPPILY ever AFTER!"
No, case is, your going to have a heart throb for this person for the rest of your life, you are going to have to deal with that heart throb, one painful step at a time.
I did. (Skip this part if your not into the romantic character plot BS)
I probably met the girl that I would have married, I don't say this lightly, marriage is serious game for this guy.
I met her awhile back, 7th grade I believe. Had things gone differently, I would have made it not just a goal, but my mission to marry her.
It would have been something I COULD have done or WOULD have done, but HAD to have done, she was my literal other. Funny as hell, no doubt about it pretty, she was honest, overly honest I might say in everything. Intelligent, freaking ridiculousness status intelligent.
She knew everything about math, something I completely hated, but damn well loved it because it had something to do with her.
And she had these grey-blue eyes, and she wouldn't glance at me, she was brutally up in your face about issues, when she looked at me, she looked right into my soul.
Not even kidding you.
There'd be times where we didn't even have to talk, we'd just look right into each other eyes, she'd somehow manage to make it awkward. She was loud too...not even going to lie.
But that's before shit went down.
(Pay Attention to this part now.)
Now?
Almost a year later?
I still haven't said a word to her.
She doesn't exist. The only artifacts that I have of her is one 20 second that was supposed to be a picture, several pictures, and a contact number.
But all of it is deeply buried, and hard to get to unless I NEED to find it, which periodically I do, because it's the only thing I have left of that person. Every now and then I keep tabs on her, I'll talk to a friend of her's say once every chance I see them, which has been twice this period of almost a year. From what I've gathered, she's not the same person as that one girl in the pictures with her arms wrapped around my neck.
But I need the confirmation.
That it DID happen.
Because pretending like it didn't happen is the worst thing you can do.
Unless you are that type of person that pretends that they didn't make a mistake, only so they can either feel like a better person, or forget about it and have it bitch slap them in the face several more times just for kicks.
So Step One is establishing that it did happen.
But you don't need all the proof in the world.
I deleted our messages, her Facebook (damn we are serious now huh?) and stored our notes.
I made the few things I did have HARD to get to. So that it would tax my attention and patience to get to them.
But periodically, I go back and pretend everything was the same.
That's fine, that's healthy, but you can only do it for a moment through those FEW pictures, notes whatever.
For pictures, don't do ones that make the person look insanely attractive, most of mine are slightly blurred, moving, just bad pictures in general of a good time.
It's harder to forget an attractive person, we are all shallow like that.
Step Two:
Discipline.
I wanted to call her, to get back together, to go BACK to what WE had.
But I didn't.
1. I was butt hurt.
2. I knew it wouldn't further me.
That's going back to making mistakes and trying to learn from them.
Don't make the same mistake twice, because then its a choice, not an option.
I had to force myself to remember why I was in that situation, it wasn't anything I had done, despite the fact that I tried so many times to put it on me.
So then my brain would trigger my empathy emotion for putting someone through shit, so then I'd call them, knowing that I had gone through similar stuff, and try to make up for a mistake I didn't make.
This is the hardest step, so everything about memories hits the trash cans, I kept those pictures/notes because I knew I could one day look at them and aspire something positive to come from it.
It's a great confidence boost going back to the reasons why someone was attracted to you, its a total fail when it prompts you to get back into the "norm" with them when that norm is GONE.
Stop setting yourself up.
Don't set yourself up for a repeat dammit.
You are reading this, and maybe you are in this exact same spot.
You are going back to that person because it was "easy" getting their affection, at one point they willingly gave it to you.
That doesn't exist anymore, you're here stuck with me.
Stuck in this box of text, where I try to justify my contained emotions, and you look for someone with answers, or at least someone who's gone through the same process as you have.
I'm typing at Hussein Bolt speed (don't know who that is? Google it.) I'm trying to tell you that you are a beautiful creation, that you are WORTH something to someone, but that someone isn't that same person that put you in such situation, that situation in which you are relating to me, and possibly nodding your head in agreement.
My words have been flying out like rounds out of a machine gun, I'm trying to create this WHOLE post tailor fit for you, the soul individual that this was made for.
Take a step back, ignore the people that came here because I linked it.
Just me and you. If this doesn't apply to you, sorry I put you through the extra text, this generation doesn't read often so it's a burden I know.
But to the soul individual who this was made for.
I understand.
I'm still hurt, still confused, and I am here to help you, as long as you are here to help me.
Don't scroll past me dammit, I want you to know that you are your own damn person, that you don't have to deal with one idiot, that you don't have to be defined by the actions of the few.
That you can have a second chance, and it doesn't seem like that when you are crying like a bitch, I know it, I've been there.
But this shitty situation WILL get better.
And it's NO use for you to be stuck in it.
I want you to be a better person, yes, I, Nathan, the writer of this.
I want you NEVER to have to go through this again, never be put in this situation.
I want life to go as smoothly as possible for you.
Can you understand that?
I hope you do.
But off of that.
To the general reader.
Step Three:
Find someone else.
You've made the mistake of getting messed up previously, now go find someone else to captivate your attention. But don't get into this step early.
Wait three months minimum before you start looking again, rule of three I call it.
Wait, there's shouldn't be a rush to replace someone that hurt you, with possibly another.
You need time.
Time is what keeps you humble, it keeps you in that state of bitterness, it MAKES you remember what went wrong, and how you should fix it, and avoid it at all costs.
So take your time when moving on.
Slow is accurate.
Accurate is efficient
If it's efficient it works.
And if it works, then it's fast.
That didn't seem like it makes any sense, but you can keep going at the same speed, dealing with the same idiots, or you can shift gear, switch lanes, and hit the passing lane.
That's where we go into Step Four.
Enjoy.
That's all I have to say for now, hopefully I haven't confused you, the reader to much.
If you found this useful, you don't have to tell me, I don't need a thanks.
I just need you not to get involved with the same people/activities that bring you back to square one.
You do that for me, and we will call it even.
The process of this is hard, but I'm here to keep ranting, and hopefully you can make a connection, and know that someone else in this world is here going through the same thing, that's all I need to know to pull through it. If someone else can handle it, why can't I?
Just Sayin'.
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