Letters to Her FB. 12

These are most of my Facebook status rants, I'll be posting them up mostly so I can look back and be like...
"That was good...when did you get so smart? And why aren't you like that now?"
Enjoy. 




This is a public service announcement, this time on all things male, presented by a male.
The various content below is rated I.S.H.T.D.T. (I Shouldn't Have To Do This.) Based on repeated repeats of cheesy, stupid, ignorant statuses that only serve to decrease my faith in humanity.

I got this folks, please return to your seats, the situation is being handled.

"I'm ugly, like my status if you disagree!"
No...
I won't like your status, being an attention whore is ugly and I can't hit the dislike button on your stupid status because it doesn't exist.
I mean damn, I'm an attention whore too, but at least the crap I put up is slightly entertaining.

Not the case with some photo you posted up, trying to look as cute as possible, then title the caption with "I'm so ugly." Especially when you have a shirt a blind man could see through.
Then you have a dozen or so creepy ass dudes that'll all be like "U FINE SHAWWTTY!"
And then you have the guts to complain about how guys only use you...
You can tell you've done something like this when after you post said picture, you get a bunch of messages from people that you either don't know, or haven't talked to in FOREVER.
Take note tool, this might save you a lot of trouble.

The photos personally piss me off more then the, "LIKE MAHHH STATUS IF YOU THINK IM CUTTTE," just because you went through all that trouble taking a picture, editing it so you LOOK better, and then posting it up so you can be showered with compliments.

Note: I noticed that a lot of people that do that have the crappiest attitude, if you got that stick out of your rear, maybe people would feel like they have a reason to compliment you rather then feeling obligated, in turn, you'd get complimented more because you are more approachable.
Funny how logic works huh?

Compliments that aren't prompted > scripted compliments that people will post up because they don't want to feel bad for agreeing.
JUST sayin'.

Letters to Her FB. 11

These are most of my Facebook status rants, I'll be posting them up mostly so I can look back and be like...
"That was good...when did you get so smart? And why aren't you like that now?"
Enjoy. 


This is a public education service announcement on all things male, presented by a male.
The various content below is rated I.S.H.T.D.T. (I Shouldn't Have To Do This.) Based on repeated repeats of cheesy, stupid, ignorant statuses that only serve to decrease my faith in humanity.
ON TO THAT GOOD STUFF NOW!

Ladies, I love you to death, no joke.
90% of you don't apply to this status at all, you act like human beings, which is great?
That other 10%?
That just need to shove it?
Yeah this is for you...

Shut up.
I wish I could leave it at this...
But sadly I can't.
I'd slap some sense into you, before you turn up on stupid show Sixteen and Pregnant, but in this country that's illegal.
I, this one that people call Nathan, take it as responsibility to tell the least spoken side of every story.
So here it is.

I was raised in a environment where I didn't need to be pep' talked about how to treat the other gender.
It was never that kind of an issue, how to deal with people of different gender/ethnicity wasn't ever implied, my parents simply told me.
"Don't be dumb, don't get killed, treat people right, grow up and get out of my house."
Simple right?
Yes, that's right.
It's simple.

I like simple.
I DO not like going through a complex circus we sugarcoat and call a "relationship".
For some reason, we're trying to play this "find the one now, live happily ever after" game we saw in a Disney movie.
Which is totally right, because that crap could only happen in a Disney movie...
You see any talking deer lately?
...
Yuhp, only in a Disney movie, where it belongs...
So please, on the behalf of all sensible males, don't make it a soap opera.
I hated those shows, and if my relationship is like one, I'm going to hate it too and regret it, every single second, and I'll end up telling my kids the horror stories of getting involved with other human beings, because that's what it looks like right about now.
A Horror Story.

Its like those crazy movies called SAW?
And that weird ass puppet thing is like.
"LET'S PLAY A GAME..."
And me, not knowing what is going on, would be like, "Games!??!? I can dig it!"

No, I shouldn't have stepped into that...
I got two things going against me...
One: I wouldn't reach into my own body to get a key so I could unlock some random strangers handcuffs.
Two: I'm black, as you know, the black guy always dies in the horror movie.
No Me Gusta.

But to the main point, I should have said,
"Nope, can't even do it."
And so should have you.
I consider myself a slightly sensible male, so in that I would like to point out the many things I see in the un-sensible ladies.
Posting up.
"I wish I had a MAN in my life, I'm tired of these boys..."
Then stop being a little whiny girl {notice how I said girl, I wanted to say something else} and find yourself a man!
Oh that's right, you're going to complain about 20 year old something, about to drop out of college, dude, that doesn't take you serious because he's involved with WOMEN, not girls.
You go guns out if someone comments on how he is too old for you, and your stupid self will say "age doesn't matter"
Well why couldn't 17 year old sensible Joe, who'd treat you right, get a shot?
Because he's not your "type"...
Well he could say the same thing, he's not attracted to stupid...

Secondly, its just offensive, if you end every status with "stay classy" I'd reconsider and lead by example.
Ladies are getting cocky, I used to buy into the "girls have more sense of things, because their girls, don't question it" thing until I...
Wait...
I never bought into that.
No joke though, stop being so cocky.
Stop posting about how many guys hit on you, you're not making yourself look more like a good "catch", but more like an ass.
Stop beefing with other chicks too, I swear sometimes, I feel if I did go out with some of you, I'd be a trophy boyfriend...
Just to compare and contrast with other chicks who do or don't have boyfriends.
No Go There "Shawty"...

That the second thing on my personal check list.
Which goes:
1. Does She have intelligence?
Check.
2. Does she have integrity?
Check
3. Can she be funny? In her own unique way?
Check.
4. Is she physically attractive?
Check.
5. Would I have a good enough relationship with her parents that I could ask her FATHER if I could ask his DAUGHTER out before I ask HER out?
Check.

We good to go.

That's what some consider a sensible male, I hope I make that cut, I'm weird, my face is a little beat in, but one thing forsure is that I KNOW people are going to be my attractive then me, so I have to bring something else to the table, and she would also KNOW this too.
In my eyes, and the eyes of many other gentlemen, you are more then a pretty face.
You could one day be my spouse.
And I want my spouse to be fully confident in my love for them, and like wise.
She's my queen, her throne is next to mine, not smaller, not less blinged out.
In the words of TI.
"She can get what I get!"
And that's how it should be, 50/50.
That perfect balance.

There are plenty sensible ladies out there, I'm blind to you sometimes, but character beats body.
Your yoga pants do any good on saving a marriage gone wrong, so bring character to the game, their are plenty great FEMALE examples that I can think right off the top of my head.
It's not too hard.

Just sayin.

Getting Over (Insert Name Here.)

You know what's the biggest problem of dealing with someone you are hopelessly in love with?
Walk it off.
Not in the literal sense.
I could bull shit you and tell you that.
"Well, if you JUST try harder you can get that wonderful persons attention and start a happy relationship and then live HAPPILY ever AFTER!"
No, case is, your going to have a heart throb for this person for the rest of your life, you are going to have to deal with that heart throb, one painful step at a time.
I did. (Skip this part if your not into the romantic character plot BS)
I probably met the girl that I would have married, I don't say this lightly, marriage is serious game for this guy.
I met her awhile back, 7th grade I believe. Had things gone differently, I would have made it not just a goal, but my mission to marry her.
It would have been something I COULD have done or WOULD have done, but HAD to have done, she was my literal other. Funny as hell, no doubt about it pretty, she was honest, overly honest I might say in everything. Intelligent, freaking ridiculousness status intelligent. 
She knew everything about math, something I completely hated, but damn well loved it because it had something to do with her.
And she had these grey-blue eyes, and she wouldn't glance at me, she was brutally up in your face about issues, when she looked at me, she looked right into my soul.
Not even kidding you.
There'd be times where we didn't even have to talk, we'd just look right into each other eyes, she'd somehow manage to make it awkward. She was loud too...not even going to lie.
But that's before shit went down.

(Pay Attention to this part now.)
Now?
Almost a year later?
I still haven't said a word to her.
She doesn't exist. The only artifacts that I have of her is one 20 second that was supposed to be a picture, several pictures, and a contact number.
But all of it is deeply buried, and hard to get to unless I NEED to find it, which periodically I do, because it's the only thing I have left of that person. Every now and then I keep tabs on her, I'll talk to a friend of her's say once every chance I see them, which has been twice this period of almost a year. From what I've gathered, she's not the same person as that one girl in the pictures with her arms wrapped around my neck.
But I need the confirmation.
That it DID happen.
Because pretending like it didn't happen is the worst thing you can do.
Unless you are that type of person that pretends that they didn't make a mistake, only so they can either feel like a better person, or forget about it and have it bitch slap them in the face several more times just for kicks.

So Step One is establishing that it did happen.
But you don't need all the proof in the world.
I deleted our messages, her Facebook (damn we are serious now huh?) and stored our notes.
I made the few things I did have HARD to get to. So that it would tax my attention and patience to get to them.
But periodically, I go back and pretend everything was the same.
That's fine, that's healthy, but you can only do it for a moment through those FEW pictures, notes whatever.
For pictures, don't do ones that make the person look insanely attractive, most of mine are slightly blurred, moving, just bad pictures in general of a good time.
It's harder to forget an attractive person, we are all shallow like that.

Step Two:
Discipline.
I wanted to call her, to get back together, to go BACK to what WE had.
But I didn't.
1. I was butt hurt.
2. I knew it wouldn't further me.
That's going back to making mistakes and trying to learn from them.
Don't make the same mistake twice, because then its a choice, not an option.
I had to force myself to remember why I was in that situation, it wasn't anything I had done, despite the fact that I tried so many times to put it on me.
So then my brain would trigger my empathy emotion for putting someone through shit, so then I'd call them, knowing that I had gone through similar stuff, and try to make up for a mistake I didn't make.
This is the hardest step, so everything about memories hits the trash cans, I kept those pictures/notes because I knew I could one day look at them and aspire something positive to come from it.
It's a great confidence boost going back to the reasons why someone was attracted to you, its a total fail when it prompts you to get back into the "norm" with them when that norm is GONE.
Stop setting yourself up.
Don't set yourself up for a repeat dammit.
You are reading this, and maybe you are in this exact same spot.
You are going back to that person because it was "easy" getting their affection, at one point they willingly gave it to you.
That doesn't exist anymore, you're here stuck with me.

Stuck in this box of text, where I try to justify my contained emotions, and you look for someone with answers, or at least someone who's gone through the same process as you have.
I'm typing at  Hussein Bolt speed (don't know who that is? Google it.) I'm trying to tell you that you are a beautiful creation, that you are WORTH something to someone, but that someone isn't that same person that put you in such situation, that situation in which you are relating to me, and possibly nodding your head in agreement.
My words have been flying out like rounds out of a machine gun, I'm trying to create this WHOLE post tailor fit for you, the soul individual that this was made for.
Take a step back, ignore the people that came here because I linked it.
Just me and you. If this doesn't apply to you, sorry I put you through the extra text, this generation doesn't read often so it's a burden I know.
But to the soul individual who this was made for.
I understand.
I'm still hurt, still confused, and I am here to help you, as long as you are here to help me.
Don't scroll past me dammit, I want you to know that you are your own damn person, that you don't have to deal with one idiot, that you don't have to be defined by the actions of the few.
That you can have a second chance, and it doesn't seem like that when you are crying like a bitch, I know it, I've been there.
But this shitty situation WILL get better.
And it's NO use for you to be stuck in it.
I want you to be a better person, yes, I, Nathan, the writer of this.
I want you NEVER to have to go through this again, never be put in this situation.
I want life to go as smoothly as possible for you.
Can you understand that?
I hope you do.

But off of that.
To the general reader.
Step Three:
Find someone else.
You've made the mistake of getting messed up previously, now go find someone else to captivate your attention. But don't get into this step early.
Wait three months minimum before you start looking again, rule of three I call it.
Wait, there's shouldn't be a rush to replace someone that hurt you, with possibly another.
You need time.
Time is what keeps you humble, it keeps you in that state of bitterness, it MAKES you remember what went wrong, and how you should fix it, and avoid it at all costs.
So take your time when moving on.
Slow is accurate.
Accurate is efficient
If it's efficient it works.
And if it works, then it's fast.
That didn't seem like it makes any sense, but you can keep going at the same speed, dealing with the same idiots, or you can shift gear, switch lanes, and hit the passing lane.
That's where we go into Step Four.

Enjoy.
That's all I have to say for now, hopefully I haven't confused you, the reader to much.
If you found this useful, you don't have to tell me, I don't need a thanks.
I just need you not to get involved with the same people/activities that bring you back to square one.
You do that for me, and we will call it even.
The process of this is hard, but I'm here to keep ranting, and hopefully you can make a connection, and know that someone else in this world is here going through the same thing, that's all I need to know to pull through it. If someone else can handle it, why can't I?

Just Sayin'.

One side of the argument.

Hi people.
My name is Nathan, I am a Washingtonian, Mixed Ethnicity, American Citizen, male, and most importantly a human being.
But I like many of you, am slightly confused on dealing with the opposite gender.
I thought that girls in the culture I am apart of valued males that valued them for more then what they can do in a 15 minute span.

At least that's what I thought.
I mean, that's what you gal's post up on Facebook every three seconds right? "One loyal girlfriend is worth a hundred hoes."
So why is that when I (being told that I am of the gentlemen type) try and bring something up, try to 'spark' interest between her and I, am I always put on the back burner?
I thought the saying "Nice guys finish last," belonged in those cartoons we watched, where the bad guy took advantage of the good guys good nature, and escaped once again.
Curses...

But no really, I'm confronted by a shit load of useless information of what girls expect of me, being that I was a male and born with external junk.
Thus requiring me to start EVERY conversation, be the FIRST to invite you to go somewhere, and even hell wouldn't know what to do with itself if I didn't pay for EVERY meal.
On top of having a rocking body/killer smile/everything out of every cheesy chick flick known to woman.
Hell, I could be spontaneous, I'd like to consider myself a step up from the "get her flowers" routine.
I can do that, I should say more then that.
At least that's what I've been told.
Don't take this as some blog to get people's attention, as some desperate plea to get more people attracted to me. That was never the point of this post, this blog.
There are plenty of people in this same exact situation.

I can be romantic.
I can shower you in things, take you to different places, whisk you away when you're in dire distress etc.
Already off the bat I value your life above mine.
But I'm not getting that.
I never thought I'd have these waves of chicks pulling and ripping at my clothes everywhere I dared show my face to public.
Nope, never was an expectation, didn't even consider it, would like it, but at the same time would despise it.
Looks was never something of that great of value for me, I mean I'm practical with it, eventually she'd get old right? At 80, I wouldn't look that great, and no amount of make up could save her from the ultimate weapon in Ugly's arsenal.
Time.

But off of that, I wouldn't want all those chicks simply because I am looking for only one.
That's it.
And I'm frustrated I can't even keep that up when I'm not being mauled by a crowd of two piece wearing females.
Dammit.
I'm stuck in limbo, I'm here, a partially assembled male, only missing whats the most valued/hated piece of equipment he has.
His confidence.

So I try and make up for it with humility, I stare at your ass, and then make sure you know I'm staring at your ass, I won't make some stupid ass sexist joke, or enter the room saying terrible shit so you know I'm the "alpha male."
No, I'll ask you how you are doing, and you'll say.
"Good."
And then I'll ask you about how are you REALLY doing.
And then you'll say.
"I'm doing ok."
And then, get this part...having the satisfaction that I cracked through your social setting armor, I'll go further and ask.
"What's OK about your life?"
And that's where it starts.
I'll CALL you, not TEXT you.
I'm patient with you, because most guys that deal with half the crap you say, awkward or not, aren't in it simply because they want to "connect on a deeper level."
They really don't though, and then you find this out and tell the world about it....
But won't do anything about it.
Sometimes it feels like it's harder being a dude then a chick, hell it seems to me that 9/10 all you have to do is be good looking.
But I KNOW that's not true.

And that, that statement I said earlier can cut both ways.
I KNOW that there are ladies stuck in this state, and I'm looking for you.
But I need some confirmation that you aren't like the rest, some type of flag that'll catch my attention. It goes past wearing different clothes, it goes past talking about politics.
Could you do all the stuff I listed off before?
Would you? Not could you, anyone could do that.
But would you willingly do that?
I don't doubt it.
Now I'm just hunting for you, I see someone that could be you, but that didn't work out, she won't even reply.
I should call her up, verbally slap her around, demanding that she explain why hasn't she talked to me. Why do I have to keep it going every time. Why can't she just be honest with me and tell me she doesn't want me wasting my time and giving her my attention, because she doesn't want it?
I don't know, but I hate playing this game.
I did that once, I blew up on someone, and they gave me the exact response I had prepared for.
"I'm busy."
But I couldn't say anything, I was defeated with that, my confidence had already been expended, and no amount of word combat could bring that back.

So here I am again, one of many gentlemen who would like to date you, but are sucked into the system of where "girls just feel like they can have fun!"
So they date 2nd class dudes that only trash such said girls reputation and drive me away from ever thinking about being with them because of the crazy things I heard about that went on between them.
Then that such said chick will once again complain to the world about how "there aren't enough real gentlemen out there."
And all I can muster is.
F*ck You.
I tried talking to you, but you put me on blast and instead paid attention to Mr. Badass over there who right after breaking up with you is spotted leaving some chicks house at 3AM in the morning.
It's confusing.

It seems like I have to adhere to all these expectations but never give out my own.
I could list them off, but I won't.
Maybe one day, if I'm frustrated enough, I'll ruin some chicks confidence and post up all of mine, just to let it be known.
I'm frustrated right now.
I really am.
But I guess dating people I consider attractive is hazardous for my health, I'm getting people that don't give a damn about what I have to think, seems like it's the opposite point of view as well.
But I don't care.
This got confusing.
I'm done with it.
As you can see I'm frustrated at the lack of opportunity I'm getting, some of these girls I know that were in similar situations switched sexuality, but I can't do that, that's not me.
So I'm stuck, again.
Here in Limbo.